Break on Me
by writeallnight
Summary: It's their first night in their new home together. But Jack's reappearance has taken its toll. Post "Come Back."


A/N: Well it's not exactly a Valentine's Day fic but I think it'll work! Post "Come Back." Enjoy!

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 _Break on me_  
 _Shatter like glass_  
 _Come apart in my hands_  
 _Take as long as it takes girl_  
 _Break on me_  
 _Put your head on my chest_  
 _Let me help you forget_  
 _When your heart needs to break_  
 _Just break on me_

 _-Keith Urban "Break on Me"_

"Kensi, Babe, I'm putting your," Deeks glanced down at the item in his hand, "…horse lamp…in the kitchen."

It was nearly midnight and they were still trying to find places in his house for every little knick-knack and tchotchke that she had brought along. Even the mere suggestion that she give up some of her precious possessions had put hurt in her eyes so he'd given up and resigned himself to the fact that his home was going to resemble a frat house.

He was exhausted and sore and they still had three, full boxes in the living rom and two in the bedroom. All he wanted to do was uncork the champagne he had chilling, grab a box of Twinkies from the pantry, and climb into bed with his girlfriend. But he knew that if they didn't take care of her things tonight, the boxes would sit around for weeks, months, or possibly forever.

So he soldiered on and opened yet another box, which appeared to be full of VHS tapes. He picked up the one on top. "The Breakfast Club?" he said. "Honey, you know we have internet now right? We can stream things?"

There was no response. In fact, he suddenly realized, she hadn't answered any of his questions in the last several minutes. "Fern?" he headed for the stairs. "Babe? Are you buried under a pile of birthday cards and concert t-shirts from 1994? Do I need to call for back-up?"

He reached the master bedroom and pushed the door open. "Kensi?"

She was sitting on the floor, back braced against the bed. She turned away when she saw him but it was very evident that she had been crying.

"Kens?" he searched her for any sign of visible injury. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine," she told him, standing and wiping her eyes, avoiding his gaze. "I finished another box."

"Hey," he put a hand on her arm. "What is it?"

She finally looked at him, eyes full of misery. "I don't even want him," she said softly.

"Oh Babe," his heart broke, and he pulled her into his arms as she began sobbing. "Shh…it's okay. I've got you. I've got you."

He understood, probably better than she did, where the tears were coming from. The sting of Hetty's deception coupled with seeing Jack and having to watch him walk away all over again had taken its toll on her, ripping open old wounds that they'd both thought were finally healed.

She had done so well today, listening to her former fiancé talk about his new family, watching him sacrifice himself in a way he'd never done for her. It didn't matter that he'd almost gotten her killed in the process. Old dreams died hard, even when you were living new ones, and today had certainly tested her ability to leave the past where it belonged.

She had worked so hard all day to be the bigger person, but now, in the safety of their home, she crumbled in front of him and it broke his heart. He would have given anything to save her from going through all of this again, but all he could do was hold her as she broke.

He rubbed circles on her back and then kissed her once, and then again, trying to absorb some of her pain, as the tears subsided.

"I don't um, I don't love him anymore," she told him, her eyes meeting his apologetically, worried that in her own pain she was also hurting him.

"I know," he reassured her.

"I just…" she took a shuddering breath.

"It still hurts," he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "It's okay Kens."

"I'm sorry," she told him, tears once again rising to the surface. "I thought I was okay. I'm sorry that I messed up our first night together."

"You didn't mess up anything," he assured her.

"But you had champagne and Twinkies—"

"Hey, you live here now. We can drink champagne and eat Twinkies in bed anytime."

She pressed her lips to his. "Thank you," she said, "for being so good to him. And to me."

"You're welcome," he pulled her closer to him, rested his chin on top of her head. "You did great today Kens. You were amazing. You're always amazing."

She let him hold her, drinking in his strength, for several long minutes.

"Come on," Deeks finally said. "Let's get you ready for bed."

"What about the other boxes?"

He looked down at her, her eyes red and swollen from crying, shining with pure exhaustion. "They'll still be there in the morning. I think we could both use some sleep."

It wasn't long before they were under the covers, his arms around her once more. "Welcome home," he told her as he kissed her forehead.

She sighed and he felt all the tension of the day slowly drain from her body as she fell asleep, her head pillowed on his chest. She was here, she was home, she was his. He would help her pick up the pieces. He always did.

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A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!


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